Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
