I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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