I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
