all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
