he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
