If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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