I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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