I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
