Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
