I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i dont even know how to be here
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
