going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
