Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
