I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
