Having a random hookup so left but love u
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
