ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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