hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Randomize
