A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
