i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
time to smoke my breakfast
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
