Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Alive.
So much puke
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
