I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
