Barsexuality is the new black.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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