More tranny stories later!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
