could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
