I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
