he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
