well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Oh god it's open bar.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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