I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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