I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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