oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I party with great urgency now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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