With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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