Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
