people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
