yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Alive.
So much puke
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
