I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The uberlube is also flammable
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
