Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
