I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
