A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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