did you get engaged???
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
