just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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