Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
