Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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