So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
