he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
