similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
How external is "for external use only"?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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