Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
