you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
