apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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