Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
