I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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