I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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