Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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