God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
